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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Last Updated: 18.06.2025 05:06

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

Should I have left it alone and kept quiet? I came out as gay to my adult kids last week. Age 61 married 15 years, divorced for 20. I feel so guilty for ruining their lives by living a lie.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

Have you ever seen a woman having sex with a dog?

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By taking turns talking.